“Burn Them All To The F*cking Ground”
About the show
The Kardashian family is back after a long hiatus and the first episode of the Hulu Original takes viewers through the new life of the Kardashian sisters. Kourtney and her kids are now living with her new boyfriend Travis Barker who is a member of the boy band BLINK182.
Khloe shares that she is renovating her new house which she will be using as her family house with daughter True and ex-boyfriend Tristan. Kendall lives alone at her house whereas the megalomaniac Kylie is busy running her empire while being pregnant with her second child.
Kris perfectly plays the dual role of being their Mom and manager – aka Momager and is still going strong with her boyfriend, Corey Gamble. She single-handedly manages every single brand owned by each of her five daughters.
Kim on the other hand is finally living the dream as she runs multiple businesses while pursuing a law degree since her separation from Kanye West. Scott Disick is still a part of the family as he is the father of Kourtney’s three children Mason, Penelope, and Reign. It is unclear whether Rob and his daughter Dream will be a part of the show.
The family gathers at Kim’s
Episode 1 of ‘The Kardashians’ opens with each of the family members talking about the way their lives have progressed. Kim states that she has been an all-hands-on Mom as she carpools her kids to school and mentions how cleaning the playroom is the new thing that gets her “horny”.
The family gathers at Kim’s house with Kris and Corey being the first ones to show up. Kris mentions how she now wakes up at 4 am and wonders how people don’t answer their phones at 7 am considering it’s already “lunchtime” by then.
A pregnant Kylie arrives next and Kim is sure that she is having a boy this time around. Kim states that girls take away their mothers’ beauty to give some to themselves and boys are generous with their moms and keep them prettier and slimmer. Kylie states that she and Travis Scott have decided to keep the gender of their new baby from the family.
Khloe and Tristan are the next to arrive. Khloe mentions that she and Tristan are just friends at the moment and are focussing on co-parenting their daughter True to the best of their potential. As the family starts serving their plates with food Kim mentions that she is a vegan most of the time, 98% of the time to be precise.
Kylie jokes that she is living the dream with a full plate of food in her hands and Kim agrees that it really is a pregnant woman’s dream. Kourtney and Travis. Kourtney states how she had been having a gala time living her life without cameras as she spent more time with her kids. She then narrates the story of how she and Travis got together.
Kris mentions that no one saw Kourtney’s relationship with Travis coming but Khloe and Kim immediately negate their mother when they say they both knew all along. The family is happy that the two were together and Kris points out how they never stop making out.
Roblox is getting sued!
After everyone’s snacked up, Saint (Kim’s second son with Kanye) rushes to show his mother a game he was playing where a photo of Kim’s crying face is used by the company Roblox. In the image, the photo of Kim has the caption that a new clip from Kim’s sex tape will be released online.
Kim tells her son that if it’s a character in the game, “we’re suing them.” The mother of four reveals that Roblox is claiming to release unseen footage from her two-decade-old sex tape with Ray J. She is upset that her past is being brought up in front of her kids and her family 20 years later.
All the family members gather at the barbecue table and Kris mentions that Kendall is absent because she had the flu. In her confessional, Kendall reveals that she had actually been diagnosed with Covid-19 which is why she was missing from the family get-together.
Kim to host SNL
Kim asks the family if they can believe that they are back to doing the show. Khloe says she has a little anxiety about it. Kris cheers her up saying she will be good. The mother of three announces that she will be hosting the weekly comedy show, SNL.
She also mentions that she thinks she is fulfilling other people’s dreams and states that she feels she is not funny.
The family reassures her that she is while Kourtney mentions that she and Khloe were considered to be the funny ones. Kim tells that she is deliberating between having Kanye on the show as her musical moment or keeping the moment for herself to shine.
Kim talks about her estranged husband in her confessional as she mentions she is going through a divorce with the ‘Donda’ rapper and is trying to establish a co-parenting relationship with him. Kourtney suggests that Kim should have her own moment as having Kanye would mean that she would rely on him for comfort.
Kim says that she wants this moment to be about her and tells the family “I can’t embarrass us guys,” while Khloe retorts, “You’ve embarrassed us before, it’s fine.” Meanwhile, Kourtney and Travis get handsy at the barbecue table and the family talks about how it is the first time they have seen the mother of three happy.
No one invited Scott?
Back inside the house, Kim asks Khloe why no one invited Scott. Khloe asks Kim if she told Kourtney to do so and Kim states that she had honestly forgotten about him. Kim states that she is now worried that everyone is going on with their lives mentioning this is everything that he had been afraid of ever since he lost all of his family years ago.
In her confessional, Kourtney is left wondering why everyone was making a big deal about Scott when she had broken up with him seven years ago. Kim puts tries to convince seven-year-old Reign to ask him to keep the family barbecue a secret from his dad, Scott.
Mason is seen for the first time, all grown up at Scott’s house when the father of three mentions that not having cameras made it seem a little lonely for him. Khloe pays him a visit when she states that over the years she and Scott have gotten very close to each other so much so that he seems like a brother to her.
Scott makes the scene awkward as he tries to flirt with Khloe but it seems like she gets the joke and plays along. Khloe asks Scott what he feels about Kourtney’s new relationship and he states that he is now finally in the place where he can move on.
The Good American Mogul asks if Scott really wants to find love and settle down seriously when Scott states that if he were to do that, it would have to be someone more age-appropriate, unlike his former relationships with extremely younger women.
Khloe and Scott discuss Kim’s barbecue
She asks him if he knew about the barbecue at Kim’s house and he mentions that one of the kids told him about it which they always did. Scott mentions that not being informed is extremely hurtful for him considering that he does not have a different family other than the Kardashians.
The youngest Kardashian sister then asks him if he would be okay to be around Kourtney and Travis. Scott says that he would rather be with his family than without. Khloe reveals that it was best for Scott to be absent as the event was very small and intimate.
She adds that since Travis and Kourtney are very handsy with each other even in public, it would be even worse for Scott to witness. Khloe tells the producers that everyone is aware of the fact that Scott is still in love with Kourtney. She says they all acknowledge the fact that the Poosh owner is very happy in her new relationship.
Scott tells Khloe that everyone around him always kept him hopeful that someday he and Kourtney would eventually reconcile with each other and get back together which is why he stuck around for so long. Scott tells that he felt guilty after he hurt her for years on end.
He states that he wants to be there for her in order to make up for the trouble he has caused in the past. Scott tells Khloe that all he needs now is to be acknowledged by the family.
Drummer Travis Barker
Kourtney and her two younger kids, Penelope and Reign visit Travis’ studio. Kourtney narrates how she and Travis started dating when he asked her out in a movie after flirting for days on end after being close friends for years. She reveals that she made the first move on Travis and kissed him.
Travis and Penelope have a drumming battle. Penelope asks why Travis uses her mother’s thighs as drums and Kourtney states it’s because he is a drummer.
Kim gets ready for SNL
The KKW Beauty mogul is ready for her SNL fitting while she tries to get to the bottom of the Roblox issue. Kim deliberates between having Kanye as her musical guest on SNL and thinks it would be a great moment for her kids to see their mom and dad together on TV.
Kim tries on her dresses and states that she would have her whole family dragged into the show with her. She talks about the backlash she received online for being a part of SNL and mentions ‘Will and Grace’ actress Debra Messing.
She also says she can never take time off her day to bring someone down, especially another woman, and if that is what another person is doing to her, they are more than welcome to “tune in”. Kim tries on more outfits as she listens to a voice note from Crissy Teign, wife of singer John Legend expressing her shock about Kim hosting for SNL. She shares that Comedian Amy Schumer would be helping her write the skit and talks about how she feels the jitters ahead of its telecast.
Tristan is changing… or is he?
Khloe is at Tristan’s house and hangs out with her baby daddy who is also her best friend. The mother of one clarifies that she does not have a romantic relationship with the basketball player yet but he is a very hands-on dad. Khloe and Tristan talk about the basketball player’s mental health and how the duo is working on getting back together upon his insistence.
The Good American mogul mentions how she could be a vile person considering his past cheating scandals but Tristan appreciates how she has never been one really. Khloe talks about how she has reservations about Tristan’s past actions and that she does not feel like being together with him just yet.
Kim shares her interaction with comedian Pete Davidson and shares how he tried to help her out when she felt anxious. The KKW Beauty owner mentions that she was going to be inviting Kris, Khloe, her best friend Jonathan Cheban, and Scott over for her SNL show while Kanye who has been a musical guest on the show in the past.
The Kardashian sister trio is hanging out for lunch when Khloe talks to Kim about the inconsistencies in the outfits from her shapewear line – SKIMS. She mentions that big girls with big vaginas like her do not get the support they need with Kim’s shapewear and the brand owner appreciates the fan review.
Kim shares how Kanye is still her stylist and how he wishes to quit his music career and become Kim’s stylist full time. Both Khloe and Kourtney are impressed by Kim’s order and get the same thing to eat as the middle child stating that they are food lovers who work very hard to keep their bodies in shape.
Khloe brings up Scott’s feelings about not being invited to the family barbecue and Kourtney mentions how Scott’s intentions are not in the right place. A while ago when Kourtney was in Italy while on vacation with Travis, she mentions how Scott texted her ex-boyfriend Younes Bendjima and spoke badly about his baby mama.
Kourtney shares how she does not wish to continue to encourage Scott’s bad behavior and wants to keep him at his limits by not allowing him to go overboard every time he is given a second chance with the family. The episode next moves to Kim’s house where Kourtney, Khloe, and Kris gather together to see the upcoming SNL star.
The sex tape comes out of the dungeons
Kim gets on a call with her lawyer about there being more footage from her sex tape. Kim shares her mortification about her children finding out about the sex tape which leaked 20 years ago. Khloe helps Kim realize that she is protecting her reputation for the sake of her children.
Kim tears up calling Kanye and shares her concern with her estranged husband. She talks to Kanye and states that she wants it gone and Kanye reassures her on the call. The SKIMS mogul ends the episode that she now has all the time, all the money, and all the resources to burn them all to the f**king ground.
The Episode Review
The first episode of The Kardashians is basically just a call back to their long-running reality show ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. The world may hate the family but everyone wants to keep up with the craziness that is the Kardashians.
Kris is really drama-free now with Caitlyn (previously Bruce Jenner) out of the picture. Not only that but she is really happy with Corey, which is a relief. The mother of six is handling her five daughters but where is Rob? A lot has been going on in the life of the father of one and fans are curious to see where he is at now.
Kourtney is on her way to a long and happy life with musician Travis Barker and it is refreshing to see her finally put herself first. Scott on the other hand is only bitter for his own benefit now that he is not getting away with his actions. Scott chose to put himself in the position he is in.
The princess, Kim Kardashian, is finally drama free… or is she ever? She cries over the issue of the same god damned sex tape all over again! How is it possible that she is this concerned about her sons finding out about the new version of the sex tape when the older completely explicit version still exists on the internet?
If they will see one version of their mother’s sex tape that is available online, they will definitely see the other. Kim’s concern over the exposé from Roblox is totally misguided and it seems like the issue being a part of episode 1 of this show was just a call-back to their first season of KUWTK.
Khloe is on a good page with Tristan Thompson but she had been cheated on by him not once but twice, one of which when she was heavily pregnant with True. She should know that a man that cheated on her when she was pregnant is one that she should never be trusted!