2023 was a great year for movies overall, with the likes of Saltburn, Poor Things, and The Holdovers doing much to please critics and movie audiences alike. But as is the case with any other year, there were also a lot of stinkers, including the mediocre movies that we have listed here.
Do you agree with our picks? Are there any other movies deserving of a place on this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Fool’s Paradise
Charlie Day’s directorial debut promised great things but the final product is more than a little underwhelming. Day stars as a mute man who is given the chance at the Hollywood high life after he is pulled in to replace a lookalike method actor (also Day) who refuses to leave his trailer. He somehow becomes a big star, despite being oblivious to everything going on around him, much to the good fortune of the failed agent who capitalizes on his success.
This should have been a slapstick cross between the movie Being There and a Charlie Chaplin comedy but it fails to deliver any laughs or satire, despite the considerable comic talents of its director-star.Â
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
Winnie the Pooh is a beloved children’s character, not that you would know it after watching this low-budget horror film. The honey-loving bear runs amok after being abandoned by Christopher Robin and goes on a very bloody killing spree. We don’t remember that happening in AA Milne’s classic works! Needless to say, this isn’t a movie that is going to raise Eeyore’s spirits!
A sequel to this horrible, misjudged gorefest is due out this year.Â
The Out-Laws
The Out-Laws is another Happy Madison production for Netflix so you already know to set your expectations to low. The movie stars an overacting Adam DeVine as a strait-laced bank manager who starts to believe his future in-laws are the same people who have recently been robbing banks. This isn’t a bad premise for a comedy but with an offensive script and scenes that rely on projectile vomiting for laughs, this is one movie that will rob you of your time.
Assassin Club
After an assassin is given a contract to kill seven people around the globe, he discovers his targets are assassins who have been hired to kill him. It’s a premise that could have come straight from a John Wick movie. But instead of Keanu Reeves, we get Henry Golding who, while not a bad actor, isn’t particularly convincing as a hitman. Not that he’s entirely to blame for this movie’s failings, however. It’s the boring script and underwhelming action scenes that kill any chances of this one being any good, so do yourself a favour and leave this one to die.Â
Love Again
When a woman’s fiance dies, she continues to send romantic texts to his old cell phone as a means of getting over his death. Not long after, she starts to get replies from the man who now has her dead lover’s phone number. If you have seen any rom-coms from the last hundred years, you’ll know what happens next. This ridiculous movie is as predictable as they come and it’s made worse by an absolutely excruciating cameo from Celine Dion who is a far better singer than she is an actor.Â
On a Wing and a Prayer
Faith-based movies have a reputation for being bad, not because of their religious sentiments but because of the lack of effort that goes into making them. This isn’t always the case – miracles do happen, so there are a few decent movies within the genre – but On a Wing and a Prayer isn’t one of them. The movie stars Dennis Quaid as an airline passenger who calls on divine intervention when the pilot dies of a heart attack. He’s a good actor but his talents are wasted in this overly twee movie which needed a better director than Sean McNamara (The King’s Daughter) to make it stick the landing.Â
Expend4bles
The previous movies in the franchise were hardly action classics but they’re a lot better than this trashy sequel which doesn’t even fall into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. It has none of the charisma or charm that made the other movies moderately appealing and it doesn’t have the same retro appeal either. The cast, which includes Jason Statham, Tony Jaa, and Iko Uwais, do what they can, but this is definitely a franchise instalment that can be considered expendable.Â
The Kill Room
With a cast including Uma Thurman, Samuel L. Jackson, and Joe Manganiello, you’d expect this to be halfway decent, right? Well, it’s not, as you’ll know from its inclusion on this list, though we can’t really blame the actors who do their best here. The movie tells the story of an art dealer who tries to save her business by getting mixed up in a money laundering scheme involving a hitman and his employer. It’s a confusing premise for a muddled film that has been painted by numbers with very little flair.
Wonderwell
Judging by the trailer, you might expect this to be yet another fantasy film about a young girl who enters a fantastical realm after falling through a portal (in this case, a well). It kind of is that but it’s more an uncomfortable metaphor for puberty than a fully-fledged fantasy piece, that is often exploitative and perverse in its telling. As such, this isn’t a movie for all the family, despite the pretty visuals and junior protagonist, so don’t make the mistake of showing your kids it. The best thing about the movie is Carrie Fisher, who makes her final acting appearance here, but it’s ever so sad that this horrible fantasy masquerading as art is her swansong.Â
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
Stephen King’s Pet Sematary is still one of the best books he has ever written and the 1989 adaptation of his dark tale is one of the better screen adaptations of King’s works. But this prequel movie, which follows a young Jud Crandall, is a pointless attempt to cash in on King’s name, with none of the scares or the jumpy horror that the author is associated with. “Sometimes dead is better,” said the older Jud in King’s work. These words are particularly apt when considering this generic horror that should have been laid to rest before filming began.
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines review
Do you agree with our picks? Let us know in the comments below.