Time Bandits – Episode 3 “Medieval” Recap & Review

Medieval

Episode 3 of Time Bandits starts with Saffron returning home from school. With her parents turned to lumps of coal and Kevin missing, she finds the place a complete mess. When she enters Kevin’s room, she finds the wardrobe glitching out, and claims that this new world she spies inside is “random” before noticing the walls shaking.

Meanwhile, the Bandits explain who Fianna is and how she’s a demon. They realize that Pure Evil is after them and want the map. Penelope fumbles over their plan and tries to come up with a solution. With Widgit as the master of the map, he gets their timing completely wrong as he believes it’s Paris when it very clearly isn’t. In fact it turns out they’re in the dinosaur times and are chased off by a pterosaur until they blast through to medieval times.

Meanwhile, Pure Evil receives news from Damon that Fianna doesn’t have the map. She promises to find him, given she has his stench now. Back with the Bandits, Kevin shows up with a massive triceratops skull fossil in town. The locals there believe it’s a dragon and they’ve slain it. Naturally, they’re introduced as dragon slayers.

There’s a big famine going on right now so all they have to eat are acorns. They also have a favour to ask of the gang as well, given they’re dragon slayers. The townsfolk want the group to set out and defeat the foe that’s befalling them. Penelope immediately agrees to this but when it turns out to be the sheriff they need to slay, they try to get out of this.. .but it doesn’t work. Their big plan to hide in the woods doesn’t materialize either, as the Lead Soldier shows up before them all, on behalf of the Sherriff.

With the lead Soldier throwing his weight around, the Mayor challenges the Sheriff’s status quo. There will be no harvesting of the resources…. but of course all the Bandits are immediately locked up in jail for this. After a brief stint in the dungeons, they’re brought before the Sherriff himself. He’s apparently a proper dragon slayer, and he has a skull too. Kevin though is quick to point out that this is basically a bunch of different animal skulls strapped together.

The Sheriff of Nottingham threatens Kevin and the others, promising to burn the village down to the ground if the harvest isn’t ready by morning. And while this is going on, Saffron finds herself aboard the ship with Madame Chung. She actually doesn’t seem too phased about travelling through time, and shows off drawings of Kevin that the captain recognizes. Still, she doesn’t understand Saffron’s words of course but gestures seem to do the trick.

Back in the village at first light, the Sheriff shows up with his men. However, the group decide to put on a show for them all, with a few cheap parlour tricks, and Kevin using a phone… which the sheriff immediately takes. Unfortunately the gang end up tied to the tree outside, preparing themselves to be burned.

Kevin talks the soldiers around and convinces them not to torture and to think for themselves instead. This works well for all the soldiers to decide they should go free. As for the Sherriff, he’s off playing mobile games… until the Lead Soldier shows up. As they talk, we cut forward in time. Penelope returns after initially saying she’d get them some help, which comes in the form of a couple of pterosaur eggs to help with their famine.

Penelope takes the tapestry she was eyeing earlier in the episode as a reward, believing that her ex is one of the men depicted. During all of this, the pterosaur itself shows up in town and begins wreaking havoc. When the group head out into the outskirts of town, it turns out the cats there are actually in-lieu with Pure Evil, despite what we initially thought beforehand.

As for Saffron, she shows up in Troy and notices fighting everywhere. Fianna is also here, in the middle of the battlefield, and she notices the girl. Nobody seems to notice Fianna though, which is where the episode ends.

The Episode Review

I commented last episode that if the same gags continue they’re going to really make this show drag longer than it should. Well, that much is especially prevalent when it comes to the jokes about Damon and Daemon along with the sick gag. It was amusing the first couple of times, but now its just dragged on.

It’s also clear that Lisa Kudrow is an awful casting choice in this role too, and she just doesn’t fit the role of the Bandit leader at all. It doesn’t help that every joke in this series goes on for far too long. In fact, I’d argue the only jokes that actually work here are the ones that make fun of actual historical events. The torture gag was pretty good as an example of where it can work quite cleverly, but then it’s ruined by subplots like Saffron nonchalantly galivanting through time.

Not once does she exhibit any sort of human behaviour to what’s happening around her which I guess is the punchline but it’s not exactly funny. Nor does it add anything to the story, at least not yet anyway.

I would say the later episodes might get better but honestly, this early on, it looks like Apple have a proper stinker on their hands. What a shame.