Please, make it stop already
4 months after the long-awaited (was it though?) sequel, 365 Days: This Day, we’re back with The Next 365 Days and my god does this film feel like it takes a year to get through. This is another painful slog through plot-less, sex-heavy, mediocre bland-fest.
With a faint whiff of a plot, hilarious dream sequences and some painfully cheesy dialogue, The Next 365 Days is somehow the worst of the 3 movies released so far. Emphasis on the word so far because this will do big numbers for ‘Flix and a sequel will likely be greenlit too.
Given the very low bar the previous two films have set, it’s perhaps surprising then to see the bar lowered even further here, as the third movie has even less of a plot, makes even less sense and has even less of a resolution than the first 2. I won’t spoil what that is here but the wafer-thin plot barely registers as anything above perfunctory nonsense. This time, the gangster plot and little twists are gone in favour of a vanilla love triangle.
Laura has recovered from her gunshot wound last movie, and beyond a few mentions it’s never brought up again. Laura and Massimo’s relationship is on the rocks, so the former decides to get back into the swing of her career. As she starts to dive into the world of fashion again, Nacho returns and causes Laura to feel conflicted.
What will Laura choose to do? Does she stay with the abusive, controlling, toxic Massimo or does she move across to dating rival gangster Nacho? Or maybe she should just sail away from these toxic men and strike out on her own? Decisions, decisions!
And that is it in terms of plot. This “story” (if you can even call it that) is basically just here to string together the sex scenes but by now that’s old hat, and it’s certainly no excuse for not having character or plot development. In fact, there are adult movies out there with better development than this pitiful Polish thriller. And you’ll probably have a better time watching that. Although using the word thriller may not be the right word either, as that would denote there are some thrills in here – which there aren’t.
The fact that this plot doesn’t even end should tell you everything you need to know about this film. And even worse, this film offers a by-the-numbers, underwhelming love triangle with absolutely no substance. At least with 365 Days: This Day there was a desire to bring some twists into the story late on. This time, the writers can’t even be bothered to do that – and it shows.
Now, the previous films were no Citizen Kanes either. In fact, This Day was arguably the worst film of the year, trumping Morbius for that title. But even then (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) they at least had SOMETHING to offer audiences. Even if that something was the tiniest morsel of a coherent plot. This doesn’t even have that.
The acting is poor, the story is pitiful and the dialogue is… well, it’s just dreadful. The tiny morsels of character speech that are here include such classic lines as: “You can run away from me… but you can’t run away from how you feel.” and “a woman who lives only for her man will always be unhappy.”
Unhappy is probably the best emotion to describe the feeling of watching this movie. This is a poorly constructed waste of time, and another entry in the ongoing 365 universe that continues to lowers the bar for movie standards.
Read more: The Next 365 Days Ending Explained
Verdict - 1/10