Squared Love – Netflix Movie Review

Squared Tropes

Squared Love is a very simple romcom with basic romantic clichés and very little in the way of comedy. What we’re left with then is a paint-by-numbers canvas where the one unique hook of the movie is overplayed to the point of satirizing the genre. While there will undoubtedly be a crowd for this, whether that’s large enough to leave a lasting impression on this one, remains to be seen.

The movie plays out with two characters adopting alter egos. On the male side of things we have Enzo, whose real name is Stefan. Enzo is a bad boy celebrity and womanizer who’s been hired to act in a car commercial. Given he’s living with the producer, Alicja, he waltzes onto set while picking up women in his free time.

On the other end of the spectrum is Monika, a school teacher who ditches her ponytail and glasses to don a short skirt, curly wig and lots of make-up to front as celebrity model Klaudia after school hours. Her main motivation for doing this stems from her Father, who’s indebted to loan sharks who are threatening to remove his fingers (and worse) if he doesn’t pay up.

As fate would have it, Klaudia is hired to fill the counterpart role to Enzo in their upcoming commercial and predictably, the two wind up on the usual romcom rollercoaster of tropes. Stefan is falling for Klaudia while Monika is falling for Enzo. It’s a typical mistaken identity ploy and this is kept up right the way through the film to the predictably mushy and happy ending.

Squared Love plays with this idea of mistaken identity constantly, and despite a few nice moments and a big reveal at the end, does very little to break free from its stereotypical script. In fact, these stereotypes transcend across to this Monika/Klaudia act which pedals the idea that glasses and a ponytail automatically make one less attractive. It’s a typical 90’s move in a way, and this ultimately reflects the one theme that this movie seems to hold right the way through.

Dated is a word that could be used to describe a lot of the script-work in this picture, which relies on tired tropes and clichés we’ve seen a number of times before over the years – played out far more effectively in other formats. Visually, the film does do quite a good job to liven things up with some lavish sets and an upbeat musical score, but it doesn’t quite do enough to shake off the shakes of mediocrity.

If you’re in the mood for a simple and predictable romantic drama then you should find enough to like with Squared Love. For everyone else, this is unlikely to be a movie you’ll love when the final credits roll.


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