Christmas On Mistletoe Farm (2022) Netflix Movie Review – The movie equivalent of a Christmas Brussel sprout

The movie equivalent of a Christmas brussels sprout

Some festive movies are like special gifts you will treasure and return to for many years to come. I’m thinking of such movies as Elf, A Christmas Story, the Alastair Sim version of Scrooge, and the first two Home Alone movies.

And then there are those movies that are like the unwanted gifts you receive on Christmas Day. Despite the promise of something enjoyable, you unwrap the gift/movie in question, and decide that you never want to lay eyes on it again. The recent Falling For Christmas is one of those movies, a predictable Hallmark-like offering starring Lindsey Lohan. And Christmas on Mistletoe Farm is another!

The movie is directed by Debbie Isitt, who is most well-known for the Nativity movies and the stage musical that was based on the first and best movie from that festive franchise. She is a gifted director of children, hence the decent performances from the kids in this movie, but some of the screenplays she has written have been rather poor in quality. If you have seen Nativity Rocks you will probably agree with us, and if you sit down to watch Christmas on Mistletoe Farm, you might also share these sentiments.

Still, things do get off to a pretty good start in her latest family movie. We get to meet Matt Cunningham (Scott Garnham), a widowed father of five children who discovers he has inherited Mistletoe Farm from his estranged father. While this city man isn’t exactly cut out for country life, he decides to take his children to the farm for Christmas so he can get the peace and quiet he needs to prepare a client presentation for the agency he works for.

He soon regrets his decision to stay at the farm when he realises there is no wifi, no water, a fridge full of rotten eggs, and a farmyard full of animals that he needs to look after, which includes a piglet with a bladder problem! As he also has his children to care for, the chances of him getting his presentation done on time are very slim.

The initial scenes of Matt struggling to cope with life on the farm are fairly amusing and there is hope that we might be in for a gentle comedy centred around farmyard mishaps and family bonding. We do get a movie of that sort but it’s undermined by another character who appears on the scene, Beano, a buffoonish character in a rainbow-coloured sweater who is this movie’s version of Mr. Poppy from Nativity.

We first get to meet Beano when he wakes up from his slumber in one of the farm’s barns, startling the exploring kids who had no idea of his existence. They learn that he is the farm’s handyman and they are quickly won over by his silly charms but Matt is less-than-pleased by this overgrown man-child who ingratiates himself into his family. You might be displeased too as Beano sucks all the charm out of the movie’s potential and turns it into a farce. He is an irritating and bothersome man, which isn’t a complaint about Scott Paige, the actor who plays him, but more a criticism of Isitt’s writing as she lets him overshadow the rest of the movie’s plotting with his nonsensical behaviour!

Beano isn’t the only other character we meet during the movie’s run-time. We are also introduced to the people in the village when Beano takes Matt and his kids to the local pub where everybody is congregated. These locals include a butcher, a baker and (as you might expect) a candlestick maker, as well as characters who for some reason are named after the dwarves in Snow White, including a grumpy-looking fellow everybody calls… well, you don’t need me to tell you that!

These characters are all fairly one-dimensional but they are pleasant enough, which makes it sad that it’s Beano and not these other local folks that get the most amount of screen time.

If you manage to make it through the movie without hitting the ‘off’ button, you will be treated to scenes involving a pair of land developers who want to buy the farm. Their introduction is actually fairly comical as they are as uncomfortable being on a farm as Matt is. As we watch them struggle with the farmyard smells and other assorted hazards, there are a couple of laughs to be had, but as they don’t stick around for very long, neither does the comedy.

If you have children at home, they might enjoy the movie more than you are likely to. They might chuckle at Beano’s silly antics and fall in love with the pigs, goats, horses, and the other animals that are on the farm. For this reason, Christmas On Mistletoe Farm isn’t completely disposable if you need to keep your kids entertained while you’re wrapping up their presents or preparing the Christmas dinner.

But if you do sit down to watch this lame festive effort, you will likely wish you had watched one of the better festive movies that are currently streaming instead. You will probably groan at the poor attempts at humour, the unconvincing romantic subplot that seems to have been shoehorned in at the last moment, and the final plot twist that might make you shake your head in disbelief.

You might also reach for the remote control when the local villagers perform their big musical number at the end. Rather than singing a Christmas song, they sing YMCA, which I assume is supposed to be ‘comical’ because it is a song by the Village People being sung by the local village people!

This really is the movie equivalent of a Christmas brussels sprout that you will likely want to rid yourself of as soon as possible soon after tucking in. With cheap production values, a (mostly) predictable plot line, and at least one insufferable character, Christmas On Mistletoe Farm is only for the most undemanding; those people who consider slapstick scenes of people falling into animal dung to be the height of comedy. For everybody else, this is definitely one to avoid.

Read More: Christmas on Mistletoe Farm Ending Explained

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